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Tom Marshall's The Burro '03


Having read a letter in which the writer called carbonates "green ones," Professor Blake decided to reply that if that is what they are it would be some time before they would be "ripe" enough to "pick."

Quiry (humorously): And if you had a bushel of potatoes of different sizes and should shake them together in a basket, which would come to the top the big or little ones?
Steele: Of course I don't know how the shaking was done but around here it seems to me that its the small potatoes that always come out on top.

For "Speed" our "William Goat" beats the automobile of Phoenix by that name hands down.

For dust kicking Mooney getting out of a tunnel beats a shot in a tunnel and then some.

Cosgrove must have been in some wild ones in his day.
I heard him suggest solitary Ping Pong as a violent exercise and good training for the football candidates.

That stale joke of Jake's as to how he clum a tree with a bear behind is barely possible to believe.

What part of Math. does the Moss Hall problem suggest?
The problems in three squares.

Jones, reading: This girl claims that two kisses is ample pay for a short story.
Parker: Let's move over there and got out the Gridiron.

When is a Bully not a Bully?
When he's a Pike.
When is a Pike not a Piker?
Most any Day.

Student: Now this is the balance room where all the gold bullion is weighed.
Visitor: Oh! This is where they weigh the atoms.

Bob's story of the headless hog beats Loreta with a remnant left over.

Holmes: Take that cylinder of the engine off and bore a hole in it on the power drill.
Prout (innocently): And where will you get your power?

"And I believe he was rights."

Do you love her real hard?
Oh! Almost a soft pillows' worth.

There was a brute who said that every time he saw a pretty girl in Tucson he followed her to see if she were not going to the depot.

Drane (parting buttons). I hope that's true what they say about heaven.
What's that?
Drane: There will be no parting there.

Mead: Prof., how many lbs. of water does it take to make a lb. of steam?

Your friend the fool forgot to grind the rest.

Continue with Announcements For Commencement Week 1903